‘Mad’ People

“Buzzz” went the doorbell.
“I’ve just come to pick up Mrs. Brown with the broken leg” said a dripping wet man wearing a Robinson Crusoe outfit and large silver earrings.
“ I’m afraid there’s nobody of that name or affliction here” I replied. “This is a psychiatric unit.”
“Are you sure?” he said (looking closely at my eyebrows).
The dripping wet man then ambled off and started peering through one of our side windows. He was no doubt in search of Mrs. Brown, but instead collected a nose full of diarrhoea from the downstairs toilet and a hearty “bugger off” from one of the patients.
“Can I be of further assistance?” I called rhetorically after him.
“Er…no… no….thanks.”
“Would you like a look around?” I suggested.
“No…no….that’s fine.”
“We’re having the inaugural ‘Friends of Local Psychiatric Rehabilitation’ meeting next week, if you’d like to bring Mrs. Brown?
“Er…..no…..no….I’m due to give a presentation that evening”.
”A presentation!” I gasped.
“Yes, yes…. I would have loved to come otherwise.”
“The patients have baked a number of interesting cakes.”
“Sorry…..no…..I must go now……urgent appointment.”
“I quite understand” I said.
I really did.
“By the way.”
“Why are you dripping wet and wearing a Robinson Crusoe outfit with large silver earrings?”
“Oh…yes….ha ha…..I wondered whether anybody would notice. In fact, I’ve just been diving off the pier for a hospital charity. It was an absolutely brilliant day – lots of fun and only two deaths through heart failure.”
“Well done. I do admire really mad people like you.”
“Ha ha ha ha” we chuckled.
Until he realised where he was.


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