Good Morning

On opening the fire door to the landing, we were immediately overpowered by the silage-like stench of fresh, loose faeces, so we donned our imaginary gas masks and began our search for the source. We soon noticed a trail of orange-brown smears on the lino leading to a bathroom, and in the bath we discovered a large amount of bedding, covered liberally in excrement, blocking the plug-hole. The taps had helpfully been turned on, the floor had an inch of water over it, and we were just in time to see a large turd slipping over the side of the bath, heading in our direction. The room from which the bedding had been taken was of course heavily soiled, as was the laughing, naked lady responsible for the incident. She had carefully placed a full set of brown handprints around the walls, like a nursery frieze……


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